FIGHTING AND SUFFERING FOR CHRIST

MASS AND CHURCH.   You feel a magnetic drawing to come to daily
Mass and to receive the Bread of life in Holy Communion. So much is the fervor
for Holy Mass that you cannot live without it. As oxygen is to the body and
lungs, so are Holy Mass and Holy Communion to your soul. However, family
members will start to complain:  “You are
turning into a monk!” and: “You are going overboard!” Persecution is underway!

MARIAN DEVOTION AND THE ROSARY.  Consecration to Mary, if done with true
sincerity, sets our hearts on fire for Our Lady and her wishes. Saying a Rosary
is little. Those who love Mary at times feel inclined to pray more than one
Rosary a day.  Studies show that the last
few Popes would pray as many as three Rosaries a day, such was their love for
Our Lady and her favorite prayer—the beautiful bouquet of roses, fifty in total
that we call “The Rosary”.  Family
members, aware of the fact that you prayed a Rosary earlier in the day will
object—“Why another Rosary; one is more than enough!” There is a divine and
human disconnect. Those who think according to the flesh cannot understand nor
perceive the person who is led by the spirit! 
These are two different wave-lengths; and they will not connect!

FREQUENT CONFESSION.  Going   through a radical conversion often results in
a deeper and more refined formation of the conscience. What did not bother you
before your conversion now bothers you immensely. Why?  If you like, follow this analogy!  If you are walking in darkness you will not
be able to see the spots, coffee marks, or stains on your white shirt. But once
you walk under the sun and are exposed to pure light even the smallest spots
can be detected. Such is the delicacy of the conscience of the person who has
gone through a radical conversion to Jesus and Mary. Therefore, once you are
heading off to confession every two or three weeks your husband might start to
ask and complain—“What did you do???” 
And “Why are you going to confession so often? Twice a year was your
normal process; now why almost every other week!” Scrupulosity has gotten the
best of you! You are getting a little bit nutty!

T.V. SHOWS AND MODERN MOVIES.  Before it was all but normal to sit there in
front of the T.V. and watch programs, movies, comedies, etc. This was done to
accompany your spouse for the purpose of at least bonding. Now you simply
cannot! Indecent images and scenes, commercials that are all but pornographic,
language that would make the walls blush, not to mention sarcasm and insults to
all that is sacred, are so rampant on T.V. that your conscience will no longer
permit you from viewing such trash. By doing so you are condoning evil.  As a pastor and spiritual counsellor I use
this acid test.  If you are sitting down
and viewing such and such a show, if Jesus, Mary and St. Joseph were to walk in
the door as your guests, do you think that they would sit down next to you on
the couch and view those programs joyfully??? Do you think the Holy Family
would applaud such viewings??? St. Elizabeth Anne Seton (1774-1821) had a
vision of a black box that would enter the American homes and destroy the
families. Could this vision have been a prophecy of the T.V and modern computer
with the Internet? What do you think?

PARTIES AND THE SOCIAL LIFE.  Before you were an extroverted socialite!
Weekends were jam-packed with pool parties, social engagements, wild-dancing
and drinking— in a word relaxing, having fun and living it up. This was done
with your husband and maybe kids.  Now at
the parties with immodest dress, dirty jokes, excessive drinking and unending
gossip as well as constant attacking of the Church and all that is sacred, in
conscience you feel obliged to renounce many of these social engagements that
were normal a part of your social weekend fabric! Now your husband calls you
the following: antisocial, a deadbeat, a party-pooper, a kill-joy, a dour and
sour and sanctimonious ascetic! He might go far as to say: “Wake up and smell
the coffee; be with it!  Be modern and do
not to be living as a relic of past centuries!” 
Consequently you suffer. The person that you love most makes you suffer
most because there is a spiritual disconnect! The person that you honestly
pledged to love the most has turned into the person that makes you suffer most!

DRESS.  Before dressing according to the times was
part of your life-style and you had no qualms of conscience. After your
consecration to Mary you are keenly aware of your dress-code. You are aware of
the fact that you are a daughter of God, temple of the Holy Spirit, daughter of
Mary, as well as, in the words of St. Paul, “an ambassador of Christ.”
Provocative, low-cut, seductive and alluring dress attire can no longer square
with your conscience. Once again, most possibly your husband is constantly
irritated at your new life-style. He launches sarcastic remarks of this style:
“You appear to be an archaic fossil or relic of the Middle Ages. You would win
first prize as an advertisement for Geoffrey Chaucer’s Canterbury Tales. Come on—move
in to at least the 19th century!” This can cause you intense and
constant pain; this indeed is Family persecution.

EXTRAVAGANT MEALS. Before it was all
but common to dine in exotic, elaborate, extravagant and of course expensive
Restaurants. Now your mode of living is much more simple, frugal, Spartan, and
Christian! Why squander exorbitant sums of money on unnecessary food and much
will be uneaten and trashed anyway!  So
many children will go to bed hungry this very night, not to mention many will
even die of  hunger.  Here it comes again! Your loved will coax you
on with these or similar words: “Eat, drink and be merry!” and “You have one
life to live: live it up.” Or “It is Miller time!”  And of course:  “Relax and chill out; you are too stressed
out!” Of course nothing wrong with a gourmet and nourishing meal. However, it
is easy to go to extremes with the body!

TALK. 
The greatest desire of your heart is God and all that refers to God!
Jesus said: “Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.” Therefore,
your conversation often focuses around God and all that refers to His Kingdom
and glory as well as the salvation of souls. Family members start to complain.
“Why don’t you change the tune?”  And
then here it comes: “Do not be a fanatic! Be normal!” Finally, “Stop preaching
to us!”

GOSSIP.  As a sequel to the last point on Talk is that
of gossip. Before making the Marian consecration and going deep in prayer
through the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius, you had no qualms to going out
with the lady-friends or friends in general and shooting the breeze. Talking
and talking and talking without too much reflection were par for the course. As
the Bible teaches unequivocally: the person who talks too much will sin in his
speech. Now your words are said preceded by reflection with the desire to
please Jesus and Mary and to bring souls closer to God. The past gossipy
friends notice your difference and no longer feel comfortable with you. Net
result of this: end of this friendship. Jesus said that we cannot serve God and
mammon at the same time. The Word of God teaches us also that God is a jealous
lover—meaning, He does not want gossipy lips and mouths!

IMAGES.  Before your radical conversion the home was
surrounded with paintings and adornments that were not necessarily sinful,
however somewhat pagan. Now your desire is for the images of Divine Mercy, Our
Lady, Saint Joseph and the classical catholic art of the past 2000 years! Once
again your husband comes home from work and views another religious painting
and explodes:  “You are turning our home
into a religious museum, worse-yet, a Gothic Cathedral! I feel as if I am
living in a monastery!”