Fr. Ed Broom, OMV
Most people are called to the married life, consisting in raising a family by receiving from God the gift of the child, and often the gift of children. God created Adam and said that it was not good that man should be alone; so after creating plants and animals, the seas and the sea creatures, as well as the immense ocean, God than created the woman—her name, Eve. With Eve Adam felt complete with the compliment of his being. Both would be instrumental in bringing into the world children—Cain and Abel and later Seth.
A SPECIAL CHARISM AND GIFT. Jesus would praise the life of marriage and family but offer another option. He would go on to say that some were born as eunuchs and others made eunuchs for the sake of the Kingdom of God. In these words of Jesus was hidden a special gift, a special charism that God would give to certain individuals. This charism or gift what be that of celibacy or stated in other terms virginity for the sake of the Kingdom of God. Not all are given this gift and many cannot even comprehend this gift.
WHAT IS THIS GIFT OF CELIBACY. This gift that is given from God is by no means looking down on Marriage and the family. Quite the contrary it is a specific gift of God for building up the Mystical Body of Christ which is the Church. God has given certain men and women this charism and gift in which marriage and family is sacrifice for a sublime gift of becoming spiritual fathers or mothers for the sake of the Kingdom of God. In fact, on the day of Judgment it is most likely that one of the questions that Jesus, the Just Judge, will ask, will be: “Where are your children?” In fact, where are the children that you engender not only in the physical or biological realm, but those that you were instrumental in engendering in the spiritual realm. It is not by chance that a priest is actually called “Father”; and a Religious sister is called either “Mother” or “Sister”.
THE ORIGIN AND DEVELOPMENT OF THE GIFT-CHARISM OF CELIBACY. We live in a world with so much information always at out fingertips. Indeed, and atomic bomb explosion of information. At the same time, we live in a world immersed in an ocean of confusion. So it is our purpose in this short essay to offer a few ideas to clarify the reality of the. Gift or charism of celibacy and how it is to be lived out. Many do not understand the gift; still others do not believe that it can be lived out!
1. GIFT-CHARISM. As a starting point celibacy must be understood as being a gift or charism that is given by God Himself. By gift of God is meant that God who is the essence of love, goodness, bounty and overflowing in generosity chooses some individuals to whom He wills to endow with this gift. It must be underlined: just some are endowed with this gift or charism. It is gratuitous—freely given by God Himself, He who is the essence of goodness, bounty and giving.
2. RECOGNITION. The next step in the dynamic of the gift or charism of celibacy is the sincere and humble recognition of the gift. In fact, the person may have the gift but simply has never recognized the gift. Without a life of prayer, without any catechesis, with no religious education, without anyone ever mentioning this as a possibility, most likely the individual will never recognize that he/she has such a gift.
3. PAGANISTIC-SENSUAL-HEDONISTIC CULTURE. The honest reality is such that in a paganistic-sensual-hedonistic culture—this is the modern world—so much is geared toward pursuing and giving into the cravings of one’s lower appetites. In the midst of a dusty, dirty, smog-filled environment it is hard to look up and gaze at the stars.
4. ACCEPTANCE. The next step in the dynamic of living out the celibate lifestyle is the recognition followed by the acceptance. A classic example of this might be the free call of the Rich young man. (Mk. 10:17-31). Jesus freely called the Rich young man to follow Him. The response was negative. The reason? This rich young man was too attached to his riches, his belongings, his possessions. If you like, his possessions had taken possession of him. The same can be applied to the gift of celibacy. God freely gives but this gift can be accepted, or it can be rejected. God is so good that He respects our freedom and will not coerce or violate our freedom.
5. JOY. With the acceptance of the gift-charism of celibacy there should be a joyful and generous response. It the gift is not received willingly, humbly, joyfully, but only begrudgingly and unwillingly then most likely the gift will not be lived out efficaciously. God loves a joyful give; He also loves a joyful receiver of His gifts.
6. CULTIVATED. How true the modern adage: “If you do not use it then you can lose it.” Tools not used become rusty. Muscles not exercised either turn to flab or atrophy. Linguistics not used transforms language into an incoherent muttering of sounds. Poor and untrained cooks offer penance to the eaters! The same can be applied to celibacy. It has to be cultivated and trained by using the classical ascetical tools or means.
7. THE ASCETICAL TOOLS TO TRAIN AND LIVE OUT CELIBACY. There are many but we will mention a few; we might even call them the “Big Five!”
a. PRAYER. Jesus told us to become beggars in these words: “Ask and you will receive; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.” (Mt. 7:7). The gift is freely given. However, it is incumbent upon us to beg for the grace to be faithful and to live it out!
b. PENANCE. The flesh has to be dominated by prayer and penance. Jesu said that some devils can be cast out only by prayer and by penance.” This is the secret of many of the saints in living out their gift of celibacy.
c. CUSTODY OF THE SENSES. It is incumbent upon us now more than ever to have a strict custody of the senses, and most especially that of the eyes. The saying is so true: “The eyes are the mirror of the soul.” It is the gateway by which sense reality enters the mind and the inner person.
d. CONFESSION. In case of failure the key is to get up, to bounce back and to be resilient. Confession, the power of God’s forgiveness should never be underestimated.
e. EUCHARIST AND HOLY COMMUNION. The reception of the Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity of Jesus in Holy Communion has infinite value in living out the call to celibacy.
8. DEFEND THE GIFT. By the term, defending the gift is meant the following: do not play with fire. One must avoid the near occasion of danger. One must avoid any person, place or thing or circumstance that could jeopardize virtue and in our case that of celibacy. How true: do not play with fire. This could be the disciplined use of the internet. It could also be related to social relationships. It could also mean control of eating and drinking habits. Celibacy is indeed the pearl of infinite value, but it must be defended and protected.
9. HEALTHY FRIENDSHIPS AND JOY. Life is worth living to the full. However, to live out the charism of celibacy it is key that wholesome and enriching friendships should be cultivated. Jesus called His disciples “Friends”. True friends can be of enormous value in living out all vocations but especially that of celibacy.
10. THE BLESSED VIRGIN MARY. The Perpetual Virgin Mary gave her total person to God when she said: “Behold I am the handmaid of the Lord, be it done to me according to thy word.” Indeed, Mary is the model as Mother, Spouse, but also in the celibate life of virginity. By knowing, loving, and trusting Mary an authentic life of celibacy for the sake of the Kingdom of God can be lived out freely, joyfully and completely. May Our Lady help those who have freely chosen to follow the life of celibacy for the sake of the Kingdom of God.
