Memorial of Saint Aloysius Gonzaga, Religious
“For greater things you were born.” (Ven. Mother Luisita)
MONDAY, June 21st Mt. 7: 1-5 “Stop judging, that you may not be judged.”
- Who among us cannot benefit from this excellent article – better said, informal examination of conscience! Who of us is not guilty?
- “The tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark.” (Jas. 3: 5-8)
- “With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be.” (Jas. 9-10)
- “But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness.” (Jas. 3: 17-18)
TAMING THE TONGUE: 10 FATAL ABUSES OF SPEECH by Fr. Ed Broom, OMV
Saint James warns us that we should be “quick to listen and slow to speak and slow to become angry”. (Jas. 1:19) Thomas a Kempis in his classic The Imitation of Christ asserts that few ever regretted having refrained from speaking. On the other hand, many have regretted opening their mouths when they should have kept them shut! Still more, Jesus warns us that every word that comes forth from our mouth will be judged for “From the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.”(Lk. 6:45)
Finally, Saint Bonaventure asserts that we should open our mouths on three occasions: to praise God, to accuse ourselves, and to edify others. Hopefully this will be our criteria for speaking! The primary purpose for this gift of speech that God has given to the human person is to communicate the truth with love.
We would then like to briefly go over the ten fatal flaws that result from improper speech. In each instance, our goal is to find the preventive medicine rather than curative. The reason being is that once a word has been issued forth from the mouth, it cannot be retrieved. Much like when a rock is launched in the direction of a window pane, it cannot be returned to the hand but it instead goes out and shatters the glass in nearly an instant. So when it comes to taming the tongue, it is far better to prevent the stones of our words then to try to repair the damage.
1. Lying
Lies should be avoided at all costs. A lie perverts the proper end and purpose of human speech, by falsifying the truth that ought to be spoken. If all were to lie then human solidarity and unity would be impossible because nobody could trust anybody’s word and we would then always be living with the suspicion that the other who speaks is deceiving. Jesus said that the devil is the father of lies. Therefore, in a very real sense liars are sons and daughter of the devil! A strong statement, but true.
2. Telling White Lies
Many will justify the lie by saying that it is only a white lie, an inoffensive lie, that nobody will be hurt, or even that the white lie was said to avoid doing harm to the other person. There was a moment when Charlie Brown told Lucy that what he told was only a white lie. Lucy responded: “Charlie, I did not know that lies come in colors.” In sum, your speech should always communicate the truth in the big as well as in the small things. Jesus reminds us that those who are faithful in the small will be faithful in the large.
3. Shouting and Yelling
Frustrated people who have little self-control often have recourse to yelling or shouting, with the hope of moving the listeners to action; this might also be the case of parents with their children. The end is to get those subject to the shouting to submit in obedience, which rarely results as planned. On the contrary, people will pay even less attention to the overly-emotional and uncontrolled shouting. Rather than losing control of our emotions, it is far better to give fraternal correction but with calmness and peace. In this way you show love, even while giving parental or fraternal correction, while also maintaining control over your tongue.
4. Slander or Calumny
At all costs, we should strive to maintain and defend not only our own good reputation but also the reputation of others. All have a right to the defense of their good name. But how quickly somebody’s good name can be undone by the slander of another! Therefore, calumny or slander can be defined as “character assassination”—that is to say, killing the good name of another.
Actually, in this light, slander not only violates the Eighth Commandment—“Thou shall not bear false witness against thy neighbor”—but it can also be seen as a violation of the Fifth Commandment: “Thou shalt not kill.” Even the Book of Proverbs tells us the harm that is done by slander or calumny: “A man who bears false witness against his neighbor is like a war club, or a sword, or a sharp arrow.” (Prov. 25:18)
5. Speaking Gossip
All too prevalent in our modern society are those who have become gossipers. Such a person finds a negative action and motivation in another person and then talks about that person behind their back.
Gossipers cause damage in many ways:
1.They hurt God, the source of truth who hears all things. Sharing a piece of gossip that is false harms the person spoken of – that is the sin of calumny. The fact that a piece of gossip is true still does not give us license to share it – that also harms the person spoken of and that is the sin of detraction.
2. They hurt themselves by sinning with their speech.
3. They hurt the persons listening to the gossip, who injure charity by listening to it.
4. Finally, and most obviously, they hurt the person against whom they are gossiping. Words once spoken cannot be taken back.
If you are a gossiper, or you listen to gossip, stop right now! The Holy Bible is clear about avoiding this: “Do not spread slanderous gossip among your people,” (Leviticus 19:16). Also, avoid sharing even truthful gossip per the Catechism of the Catholic Church (No. 2477). In either case, we have no right to harm a person’s reputation! Remember, Jesus says that every careless word that comes from your mouth will be judged. Be prepared for judgment day!
6. Sarcasm in Speech
Sarcasm is using irony and mockery to show contempt. Utilizing sarcasm wounds charity; it is like adding salt to an open wound. It smarts, hurts, and burns! The sarcastic person belittles, disparages and pokes fun at others, getting listeners to laugh by degrading others and their innate dignity. This is particularly ugly.
Before giving in to sarcasm, apply the Golden Rule. How would you like it if you were the butt of a sarcastic joke? Do to others what you want them to do to you. Speak about others the way you want others to speak about you. As one saint said: “We should only open our mouth to excuse others and accuse ourselves.”
7. Breaking Confidence
If what you have heard is meant to be kept in confidence, kept secret, not to be revealed to anyone, then keep your mouth shut and sealed.
Priests must maintain the seal of the confessional. Professionals are obliged to maintain confidences in many cases. The common proverb, silence is golden, is true and operative here. Stay awake! Be alert! In taming the tongue to prevent a fatal flaw, sometimes our only recourse is to remain silent. If we can succeed in this, ours is a most eloquent silence!
8. Blasphemy
The utmost serious flaw of the tongue is that of blasphemy. What then is blasphemy? In Father John Hardon’s Pocket Catholic Dictionary we read:
“BLASPHEMY: Speaking against God in a contemptuous, scornful, or abusive manner. Included under blasphemy are offenses committed by thought, word or action, serious contemptuous ridicule of the saints, sacred objects, or of persons consecrated to God is also blasphemous because God is indirectly attacked. Blasphemy is a grave violation of charity against God. Its gravity may be judged by capital punishment in the Old Testament, severe penalties in the Church, and in many cases also of the State.”
A concrete and recent example of this was the abuse and desecration in Oklahoma of a statue of the Blessed Virgin Mary by pouring fake blood over the statue on Christmas Eve. Through this act, the Church was mocked and Our Lord’s Mother was attacked. May God have mercy on us!
9. Abusive and Vulgar Language
While not as serious as blasphemy, a great abuse of the tongue is the all-too prevalent proliferation of vulgar language. Often words are used to degrade the human person, as well as the intimate act that God has designed for the procreation of new human beings. This is wrong and should be brought to a screeching halt for those who are in the habit of using such ugly and indecent language.
We should never forget that we are temples of the Holy Spirit. As Catholics, our tongues partake of the Body and Blood of Jesus whenever we receive Holy Communion. As part of our preparation for Holy Communion, we should tame our tongue to be ready to receive such a great gift.
Finally, we should act according to our dignity as living Temples of the Living God. We also ought to act according to our dignity as future citizens of Heaven, our eternal home with the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, Our Blessed Mother, and the angels and Saints!
10. Bragging and Boasting
Another form of speech that we should eschew is that of bragging or boasting.
What is this form of speech? It is when we praise ourselves, congratulate ourselves that we are not like “those others”, lauding and adulating our great qualities and abilities. In this we attribute all of our successes, merits, and rewards to our own greatness, instead of giving God – the giver of all gifts – the credit. This is very displeasing to God and the epitome of pride! Beware, pride doth come before a fall!
God lifts up the lowly, but despises the proud of heart. Our Lady in her Magnificat expresses this truth with true eloquence: “My soul glorifies the Lord, and my spirit rejoices in God my savior, for He has looked with favor upon His handmaid, and henceforth all generations will call me blessed, for He who is mighty has done great things for me and holy is His name.” (Lk. 1: 46-49)
Our attitude of heart should be that of the Psalmist: Not to us, LORD, not to us, but to your name give glory because of your steadfast love and faithfulness.” (Ps. 115:1)
